Constructive Encouragement

Last Wednesday I spoke and tonight I'm speaking at CCW Community Night (UNF and JU) about Constructive Encouragement. So I wanted to add a few things to what I said on this blog. I did not expect this to be the first post of the blog. I created it months ago. At that time, I was planning to have the first post be a post about suggestions for a first post. That didn't happen...yet.

Constructive Encouragement, as I said last night, is an integral part of great relationships. It is a combination of Constructive Criticism and Encouragement. By a combination, I mean that great friendships have both (Constructive Criticism and Encouragement) and for the most part, it's best to keep them together.

The Constructive Encouragement can apply to each relationship and situation uniquely, but you shouldn't only offer encouragement without constructive criticism, or vice versa. Last night we watched an episode of Dorm Life. In the episode, a girl is running for floor president in her residence hall. These other girls in the film encourage her to run for president, however, that is where it ends. They don't offer any feedback about her campaign. They offered tons of encouragement, but no constructive criticism. As a result, she lost the election. She over-produced her campaign, but nobody told her.

On the other side of things, too much constructive criticism without encouragement isn't healthy for a relationship either. When you only offer constructive criticism, you aren't telling that friend what they are doing right. Your constructive criticism is absolutely necessary, but a consistant dose of, "You need to change this," without some "Atta Boys," isn't healthy for a relationship.

I think that this does reflect the message given to us in scriptures. Jesus's relationships with the disciples have this Constructive Encouragement. In Matthew 14, Jesus encourages Peter to do the unthinkable...walk on water, and Peter does it! He walks toward Jesus and then notices the storm around him and begins to sink. Jesus catches him and tells him that he has to keep his faith if he's going to do the unthinkable. He has to believe that the power that lives within him gives him the ability to do all things.

Later, in John, the encouragement continues as Jesus tells his disciples that they WILL do even greater things than what he had done.

Jesus's relationships with his disciples modeled Constructive Encouragement.

Your relationships can have this, too.